How to Overcome Adversity: 4 Proven Steps to Build Resilience
It was a Sunday afternoon, my dog Samson was playing outside, chasing squirrels, catching frisbees, jumping through the air, and living life as normal as he has every other day - full of zest for life. It was a great weekend. He went to sleep that night and woke up Monday morning unable to see. Literally overnight, Samson had an acute intraocular pressure spike, his lenses moved forward in the eyes, which led to rapid retinal degeneration and blindness. In a matter of 24 hours, he went completely blind. Life drastically changed for Samson and this began a journey of overcoming many obstacles.
There is a reality that in this life, we will face challenges that can sometimes feel insurmountable. Whether you're facing personal setbacks, professional obstacles, or unexpected life changes, the path to overcoming adversity isn't always clear. However, becoming an overcomer isn't about having superhuman strength or avoiding difficulties altogether. It's about developing the right mindset, building supportive relationships, and learning to navigate both struggle and healing with intention.
Curiosity/Exploration
The journey of overcoming begins with curiosity rather than judgment and certainty. When we're in the midst of difficulty, our natural instinct might be to contract, to stick with what feels safe and familiar. But overcomers approach challenges with a spirit of exploration. They ask questions like "What can I learn from this?" and "What possibilities might emerge from this situation?"
Curiosity transforms us from victims of circumstance into active participants in our own growth. It opens our minds to new perspectives, alternative solutions, and unexpected opportunities. When you cultivate curiosity about your challenges, you shift from asking "Why is this happening to me?" to "How can I grow through this experience?"
This exploratory mindset also extends to self-discovery. Overcomers are willing to examine their own patterns, beliefs, and reactions. They explore their emotional responses without judgment, seeking to understand rather than suppress. This internal exploration becomes a powerful tool for personal transformation, revealing strengths they didn't know they had and illuminating areas where growth is needed.
Safe and Supportive People
Community is key to overcoming. None of us overcome life’s challenges alone. The presence of safe, supportive people in our lives serves as both a foundation and a catalyst for resilience. These individuals don't necessarily have all the answers, but they offer something equally valuable: presence, understanding, and unwavering belief in our capacity to overcome.
Safe people create an environment where vulnerability is welcomed rather than judged. They listen without trying to immediately fix or minimize our struggles. In their presence, we can process difficult emotions, voice our fears, and explore our options without fear of criticism or abandonment. This psychological safety becomes crucial for healing and growth.
Supportive relationships also provide practical benefits. They can offer different perspectives, share resources, provide accountability, and sometimes simply remind us of our own strength when we've forgotten it. They celebrate our progress and stand with us during setbacks, creating a network of encouragement that cheers us on through difficult seasons.
Building these relationships requires intentionality. It means being willing to reach out when we're struggling, to accept help when it's offered, and to reciprocate support when others need it. It also means learning to identify truly safe people and setting boundaries with those who aren't.
Determination
While curiosity opens the door and supportive people provide companionship on the journey, determination is what keeps us moving forward when the path gets steep. Determination isn't the same as stubbornness or blind persistence. True determination is informed by wisdom, flexible in approach, yet unwavering in commitment to growth and healing.
Overcomers understand that progress rarely follows a straight line. They expect setbacks, prepare for obstacles, and view temporary failures as information rather than verdicts. This realistic approach to determination helps them maintain momentum even when immediate results aren't visible.
Determination also involves making daily choices that align with long-term healing and growth. It's choosing to show up for therapy appointments, maintaining healthy boundaries, practicing self-care, or continuing to pursue opportunities despite previous rejections. These small, consistent actions compound over time, creating significant transformation.
The key is balancing determination with self-compassion. Overcomers push themselves forward while also acknowledging their humanity. They rest when needed, celebrate small victories, and adjust their approach when necessary, all while maintaining their commitment to moving through rather than around their challenges.
Grief & Comfort
Perhaps counterintuitively, learning to embrace both comfort and grief is essential to becoming an overcomer. Many people try to rush through difficult emotions or avoid them altogether, but overcomers understand that healing requires feeling. They create space for both the comfort that soothes and the grief that cleanses.
Comfort isn't about avoiding reality or numbing pain. Healthy comfort involves practices and relationships that provide genuine restoration and strength. This might include engaging in activities that bring joy, spending time with God, in nature, or allowing themselves to receive care from others.
Grief, meanwhile, is the process by which we release what was lost and make space for what's to come. Overcomers don't rush their grief or judge themselves for mourning. They understand that grief has its own timeline and wisdom. Whether grieving lost relationships, missed opportunities, or previous versions of themselves, they allow this process to unfold naturally.
The integration of comfort and grief creates a balanced approach to healing. Comfort provides the strength to face difficult emotions, while grief clears away what no longer serves. Together, they create the conditions for genuine transformation and renewed hope.
You can Overcome!
Being an overcomer isn't a destination but a way of living that embraces growth, connection, perseverance, and healing as lifelong practices. What challenges are you facing right now? In what ways can you lean in to curiosity and exploration, building connections with safe people, determination, grief, and comfort?
